Warning: Illegal string offset 'itemurl' in /home/lutheran/www/www/admin/global_functions.inc on line 257
Ask Pr. Sophie
Abstract: This week: Pr. Sophie returns with fashion tips for trans pastors just in time for Churchwide.
Pr. Sophie Fortresson, our resident expert on all matters of theology, Lutheran etiquette, and social protocol, answers questions submitted by our readers and occasionally simply volunteers advice when no question has been asked. Send your questions to pr_sophie@lutheranconfessions.com.
Sr. Pr. Sophie-
First, I am glad to have another openly trans Lutheran clergy colleague. Trans pastors in the ELCA are like unicorns: everyone knows they exist, but no one ever sees one. Anyway, I'm so glad that you came out. I was personally outraged when I read how you were treated by Bishop Noe-Effingway, and I began mobilizing support for you immediately, I hope you enjoyed the fruitcake I sent.
Anyway, there is a question I have been struggling with for years: How do you find a clergy collar that fits? The clergy shirts made for women are either for the petite or for the small breasted (both of which I am not). They are often made from silk, which only goes well with heels - which I have a hard time finding in size 13 and 1/2. When they are not made of silk, they come with puffed up sleeves, which I usually end up ripping off creating a look that is very circa 1980's.
I have tried men's clergy shirts. They tend to fit very nicely on the top, since I have kind of a man's neck, shoulders and arms, but they leave a bit to be desired around my waist. I have an, ahem, hourglass figure, and men's clergy shirts are built for "pastor's paunch". I think they might fit me better if I were pregnant, but I think that's a bit far to go for the sake of fashion.
You look so great in your uniform, what's you're secret?
Rev. MR, San Francisco
Dear Rev. MR,
Pr. Sophie thanks you profusely: the fruitcake was divine and the hacksaw proved very useful.
Pr. Sophie agrees that finding a clergy shirt with an appropriate fit in a suitable fabric is difficult. My dear, the "petite" thing is not even half of it: Pr. Sophie abhors polyester and refuses to be bullied by her clothes into looking "perky" (see photo). Pr. Sophie prefers a nice black cotton twill fabric that gets a lovely "dusty" look after repeated washing, though in a pinch a cotton T-shirt under one of those clergy shirt fronts will do nicely and it will save you the hassle of ripping the sleeves off. Those who have not taken proper care of upper arm muscle tone will want to wear a jacket of some sort. 
Between us girls, Pr. Sophie, having come come to womanhood late in life, was not prepared for the awkwardness of having breasts and wearing a pectoral cross. She has tried short chains, long chains, large crosses, and small crosses. She feels that the whole "cross/breast interaction thing" must have been a major obstacle to the ordination of women in the first place. Pr. Sophie insists that all her clergy shirts have two breast pockets.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed by Pr. Sophie and the colorful language she uses to express them are not necessarily those of Lutheran (True) Confessions (lutheranconfessions.com) nor does their appearance here constitute an endorsement of these opinions and language.
