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Ask Pr. Sophie
Abstract: Is there an appropriate casserole to convey, "I'd like to be friends with you and it's sort of because we are both queer and Lutheran but it's not completely that, because you just seem really cool?"
Pr. Sophie Fortresson, our resident expert on all matters of theology, Lutheran etiquette, and social protocol, answers questions submitted by our readers and occasionally simply volunteers advice when no question has been asked. Send your questions to pr_sophie@lutheranconfessions.com.
Dear Pastor Sophie: Mine is a question of queer Lutheran social etiquette.
I am an openly queer person who has started attending services at a small rural congregation that recently voted to be Reconciling in Christ. I have what might be described as a traditional 'lesbian' aesthetic. I've noticed some of the older members' eyes lighting up when they see my short hair cut and nose piercing - they don't say it out loud, but I can almost hear their cry, "We got one!" In many ways I have been touched by their awareness of my look and their warmth in reaching out to welcome me. At other times, I feel like a poster child for their social justice action.
I now find myself in a peculiar situation. Last week, a handsome pair of fashionably clad men with stylish shoes and strong choral voices attended worship. In my own head I heard, "We got two!" and desperately want to reach out. I'm worried about coming on too strong, and also don't want to prematurely form a queer caucus in this congregation. At the same time, a gurl like me relies on have strong gay role models in her life and they are in short supply in my small town. I don't want to miss my opportunity - especially when they are Lutheran!
Pastor Sophie, what is the best approach in this situation? Is there an appropriate casserole to convey, "I'd like to be friends with you and it's sort of because we are both queer and Lutheran but it's not completely that, because you just seem really cool?"
Sincerely,
Just Another Midwestern Queer Lutheran
Dear JAMQL: Pr. Sophie has just three words for you (though, of course, she won't stop there): Wayne's Lemon Squares.
If neither of these gentlemen is diabetic or has other issues with sugar, you can't go wrong with Wayne's Lemon Squares. They are an equal opportunity invitation to friendship that will be appreciated in spite of any pesky differences of sexual orientation or gender identity.
And when the time comes to start working in earnest on that queer caucus in your congregation, you may want to reveal (casually, of course) that the recipe is from Those People at That Church, the cookbook published by St. Francis Lutheran Church (San Francisco) in 1994 and sadly now out of print. Haul out a copy of the cookbook and caucus away! (Don't have a copy? Not to worry: anyone with your Internet savvy and Lutheran connections will find this book quicker than you can say adiaphora.)
